S O R R Y

Now i feel sorry,

And i feel worry.

Became a jerk,

is better than 'useless' at all.

Jerk, is the real titel.

But useless, is more than a totally loser.

Hufhh.

Everybody expect me more than i could expect for myself.

"what you see won't show you reality", like someone's quotes.

It was really true, tho.

They looked at me like i never touched by weakness.

Ha ha.

I am now, and a fragile-thing had successfully grown up in my soul.

Maybe it's better for me to came up, then showed up,

this tired face, tired soul, tired mind, tired heart.

And became useless,

complete me this night.

I am really sorry,

you deserved better.


*sighhh

Sleeps With Butterflies by Tori Amos

Airplanes
Take you away again
Are you flying
Above where we live
Then I look up a glare in my eyes
Are you having regrets about last night

I'm not but I like rivers that rush in
So then I dove in
Is there trouble ahead
For you the acrobat
I won't push you unless you have a net

**You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly then boy

Balloons
Look good from on the ground
I fear with pins and needles around
We may fall then stumble
Upon a carousel
It could take us anywhere

(similar with her heart say, tho.)

Tattoo by Jordin Sparks

No matter what you say about love
I keep coming back for more
Keep my hand in the fire
Sooner or later,
I'll get what I'm asking for

No matter what you say about life
I learn every time I bleed
That truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger,
I gotta let my spirit be free

To admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on
And leave you behind

**I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize, nothing's broken
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo
(Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you)

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides
When I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could

Stop, admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I gotta be strong
And leave you behind

If I live every moment
Won't change any moment
Still a part of me and you
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything i do

(sungguh lirik yang sangat-sangat-sangat 'menjawab'.. dan bikin ketamparr!)

Persembahan Anonym

Dia hilang.

Dia pergi.

Entah kembali, entah tidak.

Dia ada, tapi gak ada.

Dia dekat, tapi dia juga jauh.

Manisnya penyesalan..

..baru terasa saat dia hilang.

Sia-sia kah?

Kurasa ngga juga.

Cukup jadikan penghias salah satu ruang hati kamu,

jangan disesalkan.

Just remember,

you have love to keep, actually.

You'll hold on to that love.

I promise..

Besides,

you still have some heart-business to do, right?

And if u'd done,

just look back to see if i'd still be your shadow..

...or maybe not??

Persembahan Anonim

as the time goes by
i've realized
loving you is not easy as it seems
and loving me,
maybe,
was the hardest way
you've ever been

i'll keep loving you
in many ways it could be
in every step that you'll take
in everything that you'll see

i'll always feeling you, having you
even love has fallen in silent way
maybe love will fall back
in another easiest way
for you to take, and for me to give

i'll keep loving you
i'll keep missing you
because for me,
you're still be my sweet mistery..


-t

Home sweet Home

Heyyoooww..

Finally gw dirumah juga..

Ini makanya bisa mulai posting-posting lagi.. Kemaren-kemaren selama gw di apartemen, bawaannya tuh kalo abis pulang kuliah (yang notabene emang uda malem bgt abis ngerjain sampah-sampah tugas-tugas), langsung tidur lah gw itu.. Ngedeprok begitu aja ke kasur.. Ga peduliin hp, secara ga bakal ada sinyal nembus juga gitu disana.. Hohoho. Enak deh tu tempat buat bertapa dan nyepi.

Tapi hari ini gw memutuskan pulang, kenapa?

Pertama, emang gw uda kangen banget ama rumah dan segala macem isinya.

Kedua, gw kangen tidur sendirian dan cuma si pijo gembul yang sering jumpalitan di kepala gw.

Ketiga, gw kangen aja ber-insomnia lagi.

Keempat, gw kangen bisa telponan dan gosipan sebelom tidur sama temen-temen.

Kelima, baju gw abis.. Hehehhe.

Lebay ga sih? Padahal baru 3 malem doang nih nginep di tempat teteh gw itu. Hehehe. Biarlah.

Disana emang enak sih. Fasilitas serba canggih. Hoho. Tapi gimana ya, biar secozy-cozynya tempat orang, gw tetep betah di rumah sendiri. Itu kali ya yang uda ditanemin nyokap gw dari gw kecil dahulu kala. Izin buat nginep tuh seret parah kaya perekonomian jaman sekarang! Tapi efeknya bagus juga sih, bikin homesick mulu sekalinya nginep.. Hehehe. Jadi mau ngapa-ngapain tuh gw ngerasa serba kebates aja. Mau pinjem apa gitu misalnya, kan bawaannya jadi ga enak kalo bukan barang sendiri.. Mau puppy aja gw agak mampet! Ehehehehhehehe.. Giliran uda nyampe rumah, brojol deh tuh langsung kaya bales dendam. Ckck.. Bahkan pa*t*t aja bisa homesick sama tempat nampung setorannya yg biasa bokk.. Huahahhahaha.

Uda ah segini dulu, gw masi jetlag niyy abis naek motor tadi pulang nebeng temen gw.. Hehe. Jalanan di Jakarta terasa lebih dekat kalo kita naik motor, memang.

Besok-besok gw bakal cerita lagi kejadian-kejadian belakangan yang lumayan seru yang gw alamin selama gw ga di rumah. Okaayyy..

Btw, gw jarang posting juga karna problem limit spidi gw yg harus ditahan-tahan supaya ga jebol lagi.. Manteb banget kalo sampe jebol lagi.. Hehe.

*nite

si.nona.kesepian.kelelahan